Matthew 5:4

"God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (NLT)

   On Sunday night, my Dad's sister Syliva passed away from cancer.  I can't say that I was very close to her.  As I have gotten older, I can only count on one hand how many times I have interacted with her.  So when I heard about her passing on Monday, I felt a lot of things, but more than anything I felt sadness that I am not closer to my extended family.  Other than a few close relatives, I never really had that tight knit extended family and as they get older, I can't help feel like I missed something growing up.  As I sit here and write this, that just one of the many things on my mind.

  This post is not about me though, its about the life of my aunt and what God tells us about death.  I don't know for sure if my aunt was a believer or not, and come Thursday at the funeral, I have been asked to say a few words about her and do it with a framework of faith in death.  This is a pretty big deal, as from what I know, most of the people that will be there don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ.  As of right now, I don't know what I am going to say, but I have confidence that God will work through me and say something that will honor both him and my aunt.  My biggest issue right now is that I hear many people assume that when you die, you automatically go to heaven.  Like I said, I am not sure if my aunt was a believer and I keep being told that I should mention that she is now with my grandmother in heaven.  To a lot of people, heaven is a place that comforts all, to me heaven is a place that comforts follower's of Jesus.  I am struggling with that and if anyone that is reading this is a believer, I would love your prayers on this.  No matter what, I will always look to honor my God first and because I know God cares for me and all of his children, he will give me strength to honor my late aunt.

"Father, allow me to never dishonor your word or what you call me to be or do.  Give me the wisdom and discernment to have the words speak through me you want me to speak.   Give me patience and calmness to deal with any circumstance and ultimately Lord, be with my family as the grieve the loss of a sister, mother, friend, and aunt Lord.  Comfort them in their sadness and show them the hope you have shown me in who you are and what you promise."

Acts 9:15-16

"But the Lord said, "Go, for Saul is my instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel.  And I will show him how much he must suffer for my name's sake." Acts 9:15-16 (NLT)

     In this part of Acts, Luke describes Saul's (Paul) salvation story.  It's such an amazing testimony of the power God has to transform people, taking Paul from a life of persecuting and arresting Christians to being one of the more influential men in the Bible.  When I was reading my one year bible the other night, the above passage of scripture stood out to me in a couple ways.

     First, I never realized how upfront the Lord was with his plan for Paul's life.  He made it very clear early on what he had in store for him.  I can't help but think about times that I wished the Lord would just come to me and tell me all the plans he has in store for my life.  I have to admit, sometimes when I hear people talk about being "called" to do something, I have a hard time understanding what that looks like.  How do you know that God is truly calling you to this?  What does it feel like?  I'm I being called to something right now and I am missing it?  Sometimes, I think saying you are "called" to something is just a way to tell yourself that you're following God's will when you are just trying to convince yourself you are.  I think that maybe the reason I have a hard time hearing this calling, it's because I am not doing my part to be closer to God.  I'm I in his word?  I'm in prayer?  These are the things that put up roadblocks to hear God and what he is wanting to show you.

     Another thing that stood out to me and I love about this passage is that it is a reminder that at times in our life, God will allow us to go through trials, difficult times, and even suffer to glorify his name.  Now, I'm not saying that God creates bad things to happen to us, but we live in a sinful world and God allows us free will in our decisions and choices.  God uses everything and wastes nothing (John 6:12).  This is true for even the difficult circumstances of our lives.  He does this, I believe, to show the power of who the Lord is and the impact he can have on our lives.  It's been said that it is easy to praise the Lord when life is fantastic.  When you are making tons of money, your relationship with the kids and wife are great, and you couldn't be in better health.  But can you still praise the Lord when you don't know where the next rent payment is going to come from, when you feel so disconnected to your family, when you are sick and scared?  I'd like to say I could, but to be honest, I haven't really been tested in this as my life has been pretty comfortable.  I do know someone who went through horrible circumstances, someone that got beat for his faith, someone that had people leave him, someone that lost their freedom.  Paul showed us that our days and circumstances will be ever changing, that we will have good days and really bad days, that we may lose our earthly freedom, but staying obedient to God allows to us bask in the promises that one day that will be gone forever.  Our God is always the same loving, merciful, sovereign God and when we fix our eyes to the end of the race like Paul did (2 Timothy 4:7), we know what the result is and our earthly problems lose their importance.

"Lord, I pray that you dwell in my heart that this life is temporary.  That my goal is not by earthly standards, but your standards.  Show me the ways you have used difficulties in my life to show your glory and let me rejoice in that.  Let me be joyful in all circumstances and let me be listening to you daily so that I can follow your will for my life and not my own.  You are the one I want in charge and I know that if I am in control, it will lead to destruction.  Thank you Lord for these reminders and your mercy on me.  In Jesus's name, AMEN. "

James 3:16

"For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind." James 3:16 (NLT)

It is hard not to fall into the trap that our culture sets for us when it comes to money and wanting better things than we currently have.  I am so used to it by now, that I have these thoughts subconsciously, feeling like I need to get ahead all the time and the things in my life are not enough.  It is hard to erase 28 years of that way of thinking, but God can certainly do it.  I think what James is getting at with this passage is that contentment is such a huge part of living out our faith.  When we are content, our eyes our fixated on something much bigger than a nicer car, a bigger tv, or the latest gadget.  You have more time and focus on a much greater purpose, fining Christ and bringing others along with us.  Jealousy and selfish ambition are seeds that spring up and grow beside many other bad characteristics.  Greed, gossip, backstabbing, cheating, and lying are all qualities that go right along side of jealousy and selfishness.  When I was a new Christian, I quickly learned that I needed to surround myself with our strong Christians or I was in danger of falling back into my old habits and old ways of living.  That's how I see allowing jealousy and selfishness in your life.  Eventually, you will revert back to working for your life and not receiving it as the gift it is.

"Lord I pray that you show me the times I am jealous for what others have and to remind me that my ultimate prize are the promises and gifts that can't be bought or worked for.  Continue to work within me to make me more content so that I can focus my eyes upwards toward you, and not at earthly possesions.  In Jesus's name, Amen."